LiveScore's alternative Premier League predictions for 2022

Commentators often like to claim the Premier League is so dramatic and unpredictable that you could not write it.

Authors have managed to create entire worlds full of elves and dwarves but apparently even Shakespeare could not possibly imagine Romelu Lukaku scoring a last-minute winner against former club Manchester United to win Chelsea the title.

After an action-packed 2021 full of fairytale storylines and pantomime villains, LiveScore have taken a stab at doing the allegedly impossible by working out what could be on the menu for Premier League fans in 2022.

January

Newcastle’s owners sit down with Kylian Mbappe to try and convince the Frenchman to forget about Real Madrid and trade Paris Saint-Germain for the bright lights of Tyneside.

Unfortunately, the superstar is not convinced Eddie Howe’s survival masterplan will come off and does not fancy being kicked to within an inch of his life at Bramall Lane and the Liberty Stadium next season. 

Mbappe decides to commit to Los Blancos as Newcastle swoop for Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang.

February

Riyad Mahrez and Mohamed Salah return from Africa Cup of Nations action just in time to help Manchester City and Liverpool put six past Norwich in consecutive games, leaving the Canaries staring at near-certain relegation. 

Watford fall out of love with Claudio Ranieri on Valentine's Day. 

Quique Sanchez Flores returns for a third spell in Hertfordshire hoping three managers in one season will be enough for the club’s trigger-happy owners.

March

Carabao Cup winners Tottenham hope their triumph can breathe energy into a top-four charge but Harry Kane goes on a dry spell.

 Antonio Conte starts to wonder what would have happened if Ole Gunnar Solskjaer got the chop before Nuno Espirito Santo. 

New Arsenal captain Aaron Ramsdale starts turning up to training four hours early as he hopes to break the sequence of club skippers being stripped of their power after Aubameyang and Granit Xhaka lost the armband in plotlines worthy of The Godfather.

April

Pep Guardiola’s Citizens secure a second consecutive title by beating Watford to turn up the heat on under-fire Sanchez Flores. 

Nearest challengers Liverpool drop points against rivals Everton in a draw Jurgen Klopp blames on an unseasonably warm day on Merseyside. 

May

Beaten Champions League finalists Chelsea’s failure to keep up with the North West powerhouses sees attentions turn to the upcoming window.

Neymar is linked as, after spending over £200million on the likes of Lukaku, Timo Werner and Kai Havertz, what is another nine-figure sum? 

Agent Thiago Silva is deployed as a secret weapon but PSG are not about to let two of their star-studded front three leave. 

A a late charge sees United pip Leicester and Tottenham into the final Champions League spot, Ralf Rangnick surprises nobody when he decides his top tip for the next permanent United boss is… himself.

June

Champions City suffer a blow as Erling Haaland becomes the latest player to join Bayern Munich from Borussia Dortmund in recent years. 

Pep finally lands Kane as Daniel Levy decides he wants to start next season with a striker who actually wants to be at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium and draws up a shortlist of 12 names to target after the strategy worked so successfully when picking a new boss last summer.

July

Relegated Newcastle decide the best use of their new-found wealth is to seek revenge on Leeds and Watford, who held off a late charge to consign them to the second tier.

Bids are launched for every Whites and Hornets player worth their salt in an attempt to unsettle them with offers of a massive payday to spearhead Toon's promotion effort.

August

After missing out on top target Dusan Vlahovic, Totttenham fans fume as Levy brings in West Ham flop Sebastien Haller on loan from Ajax as an underwhelming Kane replacement on deadline day. 

The Ivorian does a brilliant impression of the England skipper by matching his usual failure to score in August but hopes of keeping up the pretence for the rest of the season, when Kane inevitably clicks into gear, are not high. 

Red Devils fans are not much happier after seeing McFred start the season in midfield.

September

West Ham and Everton enter September in the title race after a strong start with supporters wondering which month they will pick to fall off the pace again this season after underwhelming transfer windows. 

Calls grow for Jarrod Bowen and Dominic Calvert-Lewin to start for England in Qatar.

October

Guardiola unveils his revolutionary formation, which sees Ederson play behind a back three and eight midfielders.

 The Citizens record 95% possession in a 1-1 draw with Burnley, who score with their only shot on target.

November

Fans up and down the country sing It's Coming Home ironically before actually starting to believe as England dominate a winnable World Cup group. 

Gareth Southgate opts for a Panama hat as his latest fashion accessory in the balmy Middle East. Sales in the jaunty headwear skyrocket across England despite sub-zero temperatures.

December

Football does not come home. 

Bosses at the top table continue their annual tradition of begging for a winter break and five substitutions so they can unleash two more £50m-plus internationals off the bench. 

The less well-off tacticians fight to maintain the status quo as they do not fancy their chances with a dugout full of 17-year-old scholars as injuries, and a ridiculous winter World Cup, take their toll.